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May 19th, 2009
04:24 pm
I don't care about LiveJournal anymore. Or Twitter. Or MySpace. Or anything computer related, to be honest. The thing with LiveJournal that's kind of stupid is that really, what I'm doing or how I'm feeling is nobody else's business. Nobody even reads this stupid thing anyway. And the things I write in here, I wouldn't want anyone to know. So what's the point in publicizing it? I don't care about anyone else's LiveJournal and I don't expect anyone else to really care about mine either.
This is probably my last post. I don't care anymore. My life is none of your business.
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May 15th, 2009
09:03 pm
I'm Julius Caesar.
Current Mood:  bored
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May 14th, 2009
06:15 pm
God I miss my cat.
Auditions were today. I think I did really good. My head kinda hurts and I need to run to Bealls.
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May 13th, 2009
05:38 pm
Today has been awful. The first thing I see when I walk outside is my dead cat. Fosse died at some point during the night. My mom was leaving for work and she goes "Is Fosse dead?" "What?" "Fosse's dead." I walked outside and there was big old Fosse laying in the flower bed outside. I was in shock. I didn't see this coming. Not one bit. I know I treated that cat like shit, but I loved him, I really did. I cried, and gradually felt better throughout the day. Then it hit me during English again. I was silently crying to myself and I don't think anyone noticed. And it was really bad because I was so out of it I forgot my literature book, so I basically got a zero on my Julius Caesar quiz because it required the book. We had to paraphrase certain things so I failed it hardcore.
God, I miss him. So much . I will never forget the day I left school early in 2nd grade to get him and I told everyone about how I was getting a kitten. I'll never forget that Wednesday night when I got in the car from dance practice and saw a little black and white kitten in my backseat. I'll never forget the way he used to climb up the screen door at my old house. Or bite my legs when he was hungry. Or constantly scream at me because he could see the bottom of his food bowl. Fuck, I miss him. Rest in peace, Fosse/Cartman/Fatass.
Current Mood:  lazy
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May 12th, 2009
06:52 pm
Oh God, my whole body just aches. I am sooo sore. And hungry. And tired. But, dance team tryouts are this week and I'm pretty excited. I have my routine down perfectly and my technique is flawless. But there's always room for a bad audition. I know I'll feel like shit if I don't make the team. I'm going to really miss football season and dance camp. But I'm staying positive. There's nothing to feel negative about. I've got this shit. XD
I threw up three times yesterday. Fucking Hydro. I'm not taking it ANYMORE. Maybe one and just for pain. Not recreational purposes. When I take it while I'm at home and laying in bed, I'm fine. But if I take it to get high and I actually go to school and when I'm out, I can barely function. I get sick and sleep all throughout class.
I got in a huge fight with my mom Sunday night and I took like 4. That's a problem. So I'm going to stop before I get addicted to narcotics. I keep going back to that shit because I'm convinced that "maybe this time I'll be fine." If I do it anymore, it will be at night when I'm at home. Enough of that. The mere thought of Hydro makes me sick.
Ugh I'm really starving.
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May 9th, 2009
10:48 pm
It's funny you still read this. lol.
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10:36 am
Ah. You know, it's really sad when someone has so much influence over someone they can convince them and manipulate them to stop talking to someone else. If you had ever been my real friend, you would've stood up for yourself for once. But then again, I was always the third wheel, so it doesn't really matter. I'm not surprised in the least bit.
Ughhhh, I feel like my body is going to explode. My head is throbbing and has been for the past 24 hours. My side and stomach has been killing me as well, and I have a fever of 101.5 . Fuck my life.
I shouldn't have taken two of those Hydros yesterday. Just so I could get high.
I'm such a disappointment. ;]
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May 8th, 2009
05:26 pm
Today was probably one of the best days I've had in a loooooong time. :]
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May 7th, 2009
10:59 pm
The worst things that can happen to someone today happened to me. The most physically worst thing happened to me today. I woke up with a fucking kidney stone at 5:30 AM. So I took a Hydro and tried going to sleep, since that's all you can really do. 30 minutes later, I could still feel that bitch so I took another, and went to sleep. Well I woke up at 7:30, and that Hydro had gotten me high as a kite. I awoke fucked up. But I must admit, it was a very nice, euphoric feeling and my body was all warm and fuzzy inside. I felt no pain. But then an hour later, I started feeling pain again so I took a prescription strength Tylenol, which is actually the equivalent of 4 Tylenol. I felt no better. So dumbass me decides to take another Hydro at 10 before I leave for my physical. It did nothing but make me cranky. I begged my mom to let me go to school, but then the pain would come back and I'd tell her no. And then, it would leave and I was like "Let me go." But then I just came home and puked. THEN I went to school. I felt a lot better. But I don't think Hydro likes me very much.... I passed my stone today during geometry. By the way. I also have my period. And a fucking head cold. YAY.
Then the worst emotional thing happened to me. I basically somehow managed to cut off both ties with my now former best friends. How do I manage to do this shit? Ughhhh, I fucked up. I'm so fucking stressed out right now. I got angry so I started saying all of these mean and hurtful things to Sam and I wasn't processing anything I said, I just started saying things. I feel like banging my head against a wall, because I just don't know what to do anymore. Arghhhh I need sleep. And ice cream. This has been a long ass day. And probably the worst ass day of my life.
I am just sooooo pissed off. Not at anyone. But at everything. And myself.
Current Mood:  pissed off
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May 6th, 2009
07:23 pm
Today was a very good day, I think. A lot of good and funny things happened today. One being when I was in English class today, I started to get really bad cramps. I was asking people around me for Advil, and of all people, fucking Amy Delmerico pulls out a bottle of fucking Midol. And it was the funniest thing in the world. You would have to know Amy for it to be funny. She's very... interesting, let's just say. And Whitney about died laughing. So we were listening to Acts 2 and 3 of Julius Caesar on a CD and in the meantime, I'm trying to quietly open a bottle of Midol so no one would hear, cus if my teacher heard I'd be busted, because we're not allowed to take any medication whatsoever at school unless we have permission. Well just my luck, Mrs. Cleghorn looks over at me and says "Caroline, what are you doing?" I sighed. "To be perfectly honest, Mrs. Cleghorn, I'm trying to take some Midol." And the whole class started cracking up. And they especially thought it was funny when I handed the bottle back to Amy.
Mrs. Cleghorn is disappointed in me because I have an 86. I'm disappointed, too. I could have a fucking 100, I don't know why I don't at least have an A. I turn in all my homework and ace all my vocabulary quizzes. And I made a 90 on the Antigone test and a 93 on the Hiroshima test. What the fuck? I'm going to ask her about it in private tomorrow. I didn't want to mention it during class because everyone would just glare at me for not only having a higher grade than them, but for being smart or whatever, because they all are on drugs and think they're ghetto and badass because they "don't try." They'd want to beat my face in for being obnoxious and asking why my grade is JUST an 86 when they barely make it into the double digits. Not only the fact that they wish they had my grade, but they hate the fact that I actually try, because none of them do, and apparently, not trying is cool.
Current Mood: bored
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